The Sorrow of the Doctor
by LadyKailitha
Summary: The Doctor shows up at Coal Hill school when the Chairman of Governors is touring the school, he meets the last person he'd expect. One of his first human Companions.


**A/N: Hello, this my first (and most likely the last) foray into the Doctor Who fandom writing a fanfic. I had this idea that wouldn't leave and my muse put all my other stories on hold until I could get it out. Now, usually I just leave it my notebook and it never sees the light of day. Well, I told my beta about it and she wanted to see it, so here it is. Not as stringently beta'd as my other stories (I did it for fun and as long as there isn't anything terribly off, it'll be fine). **

**Thanks to old ping hai! The best beta in the universe, bar none.**

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><p>Clara was freaking out. The Doctor had decided to pay a visit on the worse day imaginable. The Chairman of Governors was making his yearly tour of the school today.<p>

"Doctor, you turn around this instant!" she said, panic starting to rise. She tried pushing him back into the TARDIS, but he wouldn't budge. He dug in his heels and looked down his nose at her.

"Why?" His voice was rough and cold.

"Because," was Clara's clipped response.

"Why?" he asked more firmly.

"This is a very important day for me. I could get fired if you muck this up for me."

"Oh. What's so important, then?" the Doctor asked.

"I just explained it to you," she huffed.

"Yes, yes, the Chairman of Governors. But I don't know what that _means._"

"It means that if I don't impress this _one_ person I could lose my job."

"So, who is he then?" the Doctor asked.

"The Chairman of-" she began.

"No, no. He has a name, doesn't he?" the Doctor said cutting her off.

"Oh." She rocked back on her heels, taking a half step away from him. "Chesterton. Ian Chesterton."

"No," the Doctor corrected. "That's not possible. What's his _real_ name?"

"That is his real name," Clara said, a funny look on her face.

"What's this place called?"

Clara looked around, "A broom closet?"

"No, no. The _school_!" He threw his arms in the air in frustration.

"Oh. Um…Coal Hill," she replied.

The Doctor took a step back and stumbled against the door of the TARDIS, grasping it for support.

"No, that's not possible," he cried.

"You know, that's the second time you said something wasn't possible. Are you okay?" Clara asked. She reached out for his arm but before she could touch him, he had torn past her and into the hall.

"That's just terrific!" she muttered and then turned around and ran after him. She looked both ways into the hall but couldn't see him, so she dashed around the corner only to slam into her boyfriend, Danny.

"I was coming to look for you," he said. "Was that the Doctor I just saw?"

"Yes," she said standing on her tiptoes to try and peer around him.

"What's he doing here?" Danny asked.

"I don't know."

"He could get us into trouble," he reminded her.

"I know!"

Just then the Doctor appeared at the other end of the hall and Clara took off after him with Danny hot on her heels.

"Doctor!" Clara hissed as he ducked into the assembly hall. Clara and Danny followed him in.

Clara skidded to a stop and looked around. She blinked in shock when she spotted the Doctor. He was slowly sinking to the floor, his hand pressed tightly to his mouth, tears streaming down his face.

"Is…is he crying?" Danny asked incredulously.

Clara could only nod as she moved to crouch in front of the Time Lord.

"Doctor?"

"It is him. Oh, god," the Doctor murmured, dropping his hand from his face to brace himself on the floor.

Clara looked back to Danny, concerned. She turned back to the Doctor. "Who's 'him'?"

The Doctor just shook his head as tears continued to stream down his face.

"Alright, let's keep this simple. Nod once for yes, shake your head for no."

The Doctor nodded.

"Is the school in danger?" she asked.

"That's what I want to know," Danny huffed irritably.

A quick shake from the Doctor set that thought to rest.

"Well, that's a first," Danny drawled.

"Danny!" Clara admonished. He raised his hands in surrender.

Clara turned back to the Doctor. "Alright, let's think this through. You said, 'It's him.' Him being…" she stopped and looked back toward the stage. Her eyebrows went up.

"What?" Danny asked.

"Oh, god." She took the Doctor's hands gently in her own. "You know Gov. Chesterton, don't you?"

The Doctor nodded.

"Oh well that's just great!" Danny said, annoyed.

Before Clara could tell Danny to shut up, a voice called from behind them. "Hey there! You, back by the door, what is going on?"

Clara stood up and slowly turned around. Gov. Chesterton was pointing at them. She gripped her hands together in front of her. She and Danny exchanged a glance.

"Our substitute caretaker Mr Smith collapsed," she said raising her voice to the crowd. Danny raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Shut up," she hissed. "It's true."

"Oh dear," Gov. Chesterton said. "Bring him to the Dean's office."

Danny and Clara moved to do just that, but the Doctor tried to fight them off.

"No," the Time Lord protested. "I can't."

"Why? Is he some kind of alien or something?" Danny asked.

"No, of course not!" he shouted indignantly. But while he was posturing, Clara and Danny managed to bully him into the Dean's office.

Once there he pushed them off and stood in the middle of the room, staring at his shoes like a child caught misbehaving.

Chesterton walked in and shook his head at the Doctor's pose. He bullied the Doctor into a chair and forced tea on the Time Lord, which he took grudgingly.

Clara raised her eyebrows. "Wow, not even I can manage that. How did you do it?"

Chesterton chuckled. "I knew someone like him years and years ago, back when I was a teacher."

"Still as stubborn as mule, Chesterfield," the Doctor muttered childishly into his cup of tea.

"Chesterton," Clara corrected. "I thought you said you knew him." She turned to look at the Chairman of Governors, who was as a white as a sheet.

"Sir?"

Chesterton waved her off. "You can't be."

"You know, that's what he said when I told him _your_ name," she told Gov. Chesterton.

The Doctor was decidedly avoiding everyone's eye.

"What was the first thing you said to me?" Chesterton asked.

"'What are you doing here?'" the Doctor faithfully quoted.

Chesterton staggered back and Danny and Clara helped him into a nearby chair.

"Okay," Danny said. "Now that's just weird."

The Doctor looked up at Chesterton for the first time. "Are there pictures of the classes kept in the Dean's office from previous years?"

"I believe so," Chesterton said and directed Clara to where they should be. She opened the drawer.

"Yep, what year do you need?"

"1963."

"That's pretty far back," she muttered. "Ah ha! Got it!" She handed the picture to the Doctor.

His eyes flicked over the picture before spotting the person he wanted. He pointed to it and handed it back to Clara. She showed Danny, but he just shrugged.

"So, who's that then?" she asked handed the picture to Gov. Chesterton.

"My granddaughter-" the Doctor said.

"Susan Foreman-" Chesterton said at the same time.

"Your _granddaughter_ went to this school?" Clara asked.

"I thought you were an alien," Danny said. "What's an alien's granddaughter doing going to an earth school?"

Chesterton chuckled. "Stuck for repairs."

Danny and Clara looked at Chesterton in shock, while the Doctor merely glared him.

"Did you ever fix it?" Chesterton asked.

"Once. It was dreadful. Broke it for good."

Chesterton laughed and the Doctor gave one of his rare smiles.

"What was broke?" Danny asked.

"The chameleon circuit on the TARDIS," the Doctor said.

"What's that then?" Clara inquired.

"The TARDIS is _supposed_ to change to fit its surroundings. But I've grown use to that old police box."

Danny and Clara raised their eyebrows in shock.

"So, are you two young people his companions then?"

"What?" Danny asked. "Oh. You mean do I travel with him. God no. He's an arse."

Clara was silent.

"He was an arse then, too," Chesterton admitted.

Clara looked at him sharply. "What?"

"When I met him he was crotchety old man, who took exception to us being around."

"Not always," the Doctor muttered.

"'Us?' Who's us?" Clara asked.

"Barbara Wright. Another teacher at the school," Chesterton said and then turned to the Doctor. "I did marry her, you know."

"Good." The Doctor looked down at his mostly untouched tea. "How is she?"

"Gone. Died a few years ago," Chesterton said.

"I _am_ sorry."

"Wait, wait. Why didn't you want them around?" Danny asked.

"I was forced to take them with Susan and me when they stumbled into the TARDIS."

"Forced? You mean you kidnapped them?" Danny asked incredulously.

"No, I'm sure that's not what the Doctor meant," Clara defended.

Chesterton chuckled. "Too be fair, we shouldn't have stuck our nose where it didn't belong."

"That is no reason to kidnap someone," Danny protested.

"They blundered into an alien space ship and then threatened to call the police. So, what would you have done, PE? Kill them? Toss them out the doors as we were flying through time and space?"

"I'm sure it crossed your mind a time or two," Chesterton murmured with a chuckle.

Danny opened his mouth to further argue when he realized who he was about to argue with and just threw his arms up in frustration.

"I understand you don't like the Doctor, Mr Pink. But you will give him your respect."

Danny ducked his head.

"Are you aware of how many times in this world's history the Doctor has saved it?" Chesterton asked.

"A lot, I'm guessing," Danny said.

"More than you will ever fathom. You exist because of him."

"So he _is_ an officer then?" He stood at attention and saluted.

There was a crash and the Doctor was on his feet. "Stop it! Stop that!" He rushed at Danny and would have swung at him if Clara hadn't stepped between them.

"Whoa! Calm down," she said holding the Doctor back.

"I'm not an officer! I hate soldiers!"

"Why?" Clara asked.

The Doctor looked down at her. "What?"

"Why? Why is being a soldier so bad?"

The Doctor looked down at her. "How can you not remember? You were there, you saw what he had to do. I was there, too. Now imagine the weight of guilt and despair of what you thought you'd done suddenly doesn't mean a thing because you never actually had done it. Years and years of trying to atone for something that didn't need atonement. All that gone.

"I have traveled for so long I honestly can't remember how old I am. And by whose standards? Earth's? Gallifrey's? Trenzalor's? Do not mock me, boy. I have seen things, done things that would make your heart stop and your blood run cold.

"I have also seen the most beautiful things. I loved four women in my long life and have lost them all. I've had children and grandchildren. You know _nothing _about me, PE!"

Danny and Chesterton shared a look of confusion.

"What did you have to do, my old friend?" Chesterton asked.

Clara went on to explain Trenzalor, the Time War, the Moment, and the bargain she made with the Time Lords for the Doctor to live.

"I have had over a dozen faces besides this one," the Doctor explained. "Chatterton here has seen one. My first. There have been some that have seen two faces or even three. Clara is unique in having seen them all and even she wouldn't be able to understand enormity of my life. No one can. Not even other Time Lords."

Danny swayed and Clara led him over to the chair the Doctor had vacated. While he sought to understand what he'd been told, Chesterton stood up and took the Doctor into his arms.

"I don't do hugs," the Doctor protested.

Chesterton ignored him. "You have endured so much, my old friend," he said as he released the Doctor.

"That is the sorrow of a Time Lord," the Doctor replied. "That is sorrow of being me."

"And why you take companions with you," Chesterton agreed.

"The loneliness is stifling."

"So don't be alone, Doctor."

"You all leave me in the end," he murmured.

Chesterton smiled. "I know, but we never forget you."

"Then that is all I can really hope for."


End file.
